Grief is a deeply personal journey, yet it is often shaped by the beliefs and practices of our communities. For those within Hindu and Sikh traditions, where death is seen as part of a larger spiritual cycle, certain misconceptions can sometimes make the grieving process even more challenging. It’s important to address these misunderstandings so that those who are grieving can find the support and understanding they need. Here are the top five misconceptions about grief within Hindu and Sikh communities, along with some guidance on where you can seek help if you need it.
1. Grief Should Be Short-Lived Because of Belief in Reincarnation
In both Hinduism and Sikhism, there is a strong belief in reincarnation—the idea that the soul continues its journey after death, taking on a new form. This belief can offer comfort, but it can also lead to the misconception that grieving should be brief because death is seen as part of life’s natural cycle. However, even with a deep faith in reincarnation, the pain of losing someone you love can be overwhelming. It’s important to give yourself permission to grieve for as long as you need, regardless of what others might say or expect.
2. Public Displays of Grief Are Inappropriate
In some Hindu and Sikh communities, there’s a cultural expectation to maintain composure and dignity during times of loss. This can lead to the misconception that expressing grief openly—through crying, mourning aloud, or other visible signs of sorrow—is somehow inappropriate. But holding in your emotions can make the grieving process even harder. It’s crucial to remember that expressing your grief, whether privately or publicly, is not only natural but necessary. Everyone grieves in their own way, and it’s okay to let your emotions show, whether you do so quietly or openly.
3. Rituals Alone Are Enough for Healing
Hindu and Sikh traditions have a rich array of rituals surrounding death and mourning. Whether it’s the Hindu Antyesti (last rites) or the Sikh Akhand Path (continuous reading of the Guru Granth Sahib), these practices are deeply meaningful and can provide a sense of closure. However, there’s a misconception that taking part in these rituals is all that’s needed to heal from loss. While rituals can offer comfort and a sense of structure in the early stages of grief, healing often requires ongoing emotional support and personal reflection. It’s okay to seek additional help beyond what rituals provide.
4. You Should Be Able to Move On After the Mourning Period
In Hindu and Sikh traditions, specific mourning periods are often observed, such as the thirteen-day Hindu Shraddha or the ten-day Sikh mourning period. After these rituals, there can be pressure to “move on” and return to normal life. However, grief doesn’t follow a strict timeline, and the pain of loss can linger long after the official mourning period has ended. It’s perfectly normal to feel that the loss is still very present in your life, even months or years later. Allow yourself the time to grieve in your own way and at your own pace.
5. Seeking Professional Help Is Unnecessary
There can sometimes be a reluctance within our communities to seek professional help for grief, with a belief that spiritual practices, community support, and personal resilience should be enough to cope with loss. However, grief can be overwhelming, and there’s no shame in needing extra support. Therapists, counsellors, and grief specialists can offer valuable tools and strategies to help you manage your emotions, especially when traditional support systems aren’t enough. Seeking professional help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Finding Support
Grieving can feel like an incredibly lonely experience, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Here are some ways to find support:
- Community Support: Many temples, gurdwaras, and community centres offer grief support groups and other resources. Connecting with others who share your cultural and spiritual background can provide comfort and understanding.
- Therapists and Counsellors: Professional support can make a world of difference. Look for therapists who understand Hindu and Sikh beliefs if that feels important to you, or who are simply kind and compassionate listeners.
- Spiritual Guidance: Reach out to spiritual leaders or mentors within your community. They can offer wisdom and support grounded in your faith, helping you navigate the spiritual and emotional aspects of grief.
Remember, grief is a deeply personal journey, and there is no right or wrong way to experience it. Be gentle with yourself as you navigate this difficult time, and know that it’s perfectly okay to seek help, in whatever form feels most supportive to you.
